Unclear Memories
by Makami
Summary: A past that he can barely remember... did it really happen? Kai.OC


**Unclear Memories **

"Hey, Kai!" Takao called him from the bedroom doorway. "It's time for practice!"

Kai, silent as ever, turned away from the window that he had been staring out of and watched Takao. They were in one of the BBA hotels, two days away from heading to Russia. Max and Rei had already left for some extra practice time.

"Ano... Kai? Care to at least give me an answer?"

"Just leave me alone, Takao," Kai demanded, turning back to the window. "I'll come down later."

Takao placed his hands on his hips, narrowed his eyes, and sighed. Kai always pushed everyone away and kept to himself. He was an excellent beyblader, but he needed a big change in his personality, according to Takao.

"You know, Kai," Kenny spoke up. He'd been waiting at the door, but had gotten bored while waiting. "You're a part of this team - you're a Bladebreaker! Kai! We're your friends, not enemies."

Kai growled lowly but didn't reply. He didn't feel much like going anywhere with them. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

Takao made a strange growling sound, shook his head, and then said, "Whatever, Kai. Come down later. We don't need you at practice anyway. Let's go, Chief."

"Ta-kao..." Kenny groaned then followed after his as he walked away.

Kai waited patiently for the sound of the door slam shut before he let out a relieved sigh.

"Finally, they're gone."

(Kai POV) 

_I know that many might have seen this as a hollow victory, but it was my victory. One step closer to achieving my goal... but what is my goal? Oddly enough, I find myself without good enough reasons or explanations, nor do I know what exactly my goals are. I just blindly follow my instincts. _

I don't know how long I stood at the window, exactly, but I remember turning away, walking to my bed and collapsing down upon it. I felt drained, both emotionally and mentally. I didn't have it in me to go down and practice at the beystadium in the basement. I couldn't face the ones whom call me their friend.

I know what friendship is and means - at least I know the basic concepts of it. Once I think I knew, but not any longer...

(End Kai POV) 

Kai closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Birds chirped outside the window from their perches in the trees outside. The world surrounding him was peaceful, nothing to disturb him.

"It's beautiful outside."

Kai's eyes opened slowly, welcoming the sight of a young, crimson haired girl. She was his age, and wore one of the most beautiful smiles he'd ever seen. She tilted her head to the side slightly and giggled.

"C'mon, Kai," she teased, "don't be giving me the silent treatment, now."

The ends of his lips curled upward just enough for a small smile to form across his face. She reminded him of an angel, always watching him.

"I miss you..." he said softly. He closed his eyes once again, slowly lulling himself to sleep.

(Five Years Earlier) 

"Ugh... boys..." the young, crimson haired girl scoffed. She smiled at the boy next to her. "Who ever said that guys were better at blading that girls, sure never met you, Kai."

He looked at her, silently, and frowned. She laughed, without a care in the world.

"I'm not that bad..." he said softly, closing his eyes.

"I know." She messed up his hair then hugged him, tightly around the neck. "I was just kidding you."

His eyes opened slightly as he wrapped an arm around her waist, smiling softly. She looked up into his eyes and smiled even more brightly than he had. For as long as either could remember they had been the best of friends.

From a young age Kai had lived at they Abbey, and as for the girl, she had lived there since near-birth. She always appeared outwardly shy and quiet but when they were alone she was always happy and affectionate. She always seemed to bring those qualities out in him, but to a lesser extent.

"Kai..."

He blushed deeply and looked away. "Araya, I..."

"Don't worry about it, Kai. I already know, I do," she whispered, kissing his cheek softly. If possible, his face went a deeper shade of crimson. She giggled and quickly kissed his lips. This time both blushed. "Kai, do you promise that we'll be together forever?"

He tightened his embrace around her, blushing deeply, then lowered his face and kissed her lightly. He pulled away quickly then glanced away.

"I'll always stand by your side, if you promise to never - not ever - leave my side," he breathed.

She rested her head on his chest and sighed blissfully. "I'm glad that we're the best bladers around; we get more personal time with one another. I won't leave your side... none of the higher ups can make me."

(Present) 

Kai opened his eyes and pushed himself into a sitting position. He frowned and crawled off of the bed. They had been so naïve in that time... so hopelessly in love at a young age. And it had been too long since they had last been together.

"Oh, ee(2), Kai... you're awake?" Kenny said softly and stopped in the doorway. "We were all just getting to the buffet. Wanna come with?"

"No."

"C'mon, Kai. You skipped out on practice, but you really do need to eat," Rei urged. "Don't want Takao to lose it, do you?"

"Screw Takao. Just leave me alone."

"Kai, just come down," Kenny begged. "You're our friend, Kai. At lease act like one."

"Yeah, Kai," Rei agreed. "You know Takao really wouldn't flip out on you."

Kai clenched his fists and gave them a cold stare. "I've only had one good, trustworthy friend, and now she's go-"

His eyes widened and he fell silent, hoping that they couldn't see the tears which has rushed to his eyes. Kenny and Rei looked to one another and let out exasperated sighs. They had no idea how to deal with this distressed boy. Kai inhaled shaky breaths as he attempted to stop the oncoming tears.

"Leave me alone " please."

"Kenny, go downstairs," Rei ordered.

"But, why Rei?"

"I want to have a little talk with Kai," Rei said softly.

Kai turned his back to them then crossed his arms.

"Alright." Kenny turned to leave but stopped and looked at Rei. "Good luck."

Rei nodded. He waited until the hotel door clicked shut before he walked up next to Kai. Both were silent, staring out of the window and at the full moon. They both had blank expressions on their faces and had their arms crossed. Rei sighed heavily and looked tentatively at Kai.

"Kai."

"Go away," Kai breathed. "I don't want your company."

"Lighten up, Kai," Rei hissed. He lowered his hands to his sides and moved in line of his view. "You know that no matter what, any one of us would be here to help you."

"Stop with the sentiments, Rei. You're making me sick."

"Don't be so damn cold, Kai. We're all just worried about you," he explained. "You've been acting strange lately."

(Kai POV) 

_I know he meant well; I know they all meant well, but I didn't want their help. I don't deserve it. Every friend I've had... Never really cared, or I let her down and then she left me. One friend, just one in all my life... _

The thought made me blush with shame and tears once again rushed to my eyes. I had lost the most precious thing in my life - and I don't even know how I did it.

"Kai, people can surprise you IF you give them the chance," _Rei explained. I barely listened to his words. I just wanted to run away. To follow my first instinct._ "Kai... who is 'she'?"

_I gasped and I know that my eyes got really big, really wide with fear. My heart skipped a beat, and a dull, numbing pain shot up from deep within me. My most sensitive subject... and he wanted to know it?_

(End Kai POV) 

Kai backed away, his "cold front" rising quickly. He found his way back to one of the beds and sat down, refusing to meet Rei's stare.

"I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about," Rei promised. "But if you don't tell me, I won't drop the subject, -and- I'll involve the others."

"Don't bother me with idle threats."

"Fine then. I won't." Rei stiffened and headed for the door. "I'll leave you alone, just as you like it."

Fear crept up upon Kai, and he panicked.

"Rei, I-" The other blader stopped just short of leaving the room. "She - Araya - was the best friend I've ever had. She was everything I could have wanted, but..."

(Five Years Earlier) 

"Kai-i-i!" Araya whined, stomping her feet. "I don't think we should be here! Our supervisors said-"

"I don't care!" he hissed, turning around only to give her a dirty glare. "Stop whining! If you don't want to come, then go back. I don't care!"

She looked away, crying silently. Kai didn't even seem to notice, and resumed sneaking into the security room.

"Kai!"

-- -- -- -- 

"Oh, wow! Black Dranzer!" Kai exclaimed, cradling the blade in his hands as he admired it. "I can feel its power! It's so strong!"

"Kai?" the small voice called him.

He looked over, annoyed with this disturbance. "Araya? It's only you."

"Kai, please. I'm scared!"

"I'm just going to try it out," He brushed her aside, making his way to the large beystadium. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"I don't like this, Kai! Please, let's not do this!" she pleaded, taking hold of his arm. "Let's go back."

He looked into her eyes and his expression softened.

"Just once, Araya. Just once - that's all I want," he explained. She forced a slight smile and let him go. "Once, and then we'll go back to our quarters. I promise."

"Alright, Kai." She backed away, watching him load his launcher. "Just once."

(Present) 

"What happened?" Rei asked curiously, sitting next to him.

Kai shrugged sadly. "I don't know. She was there one day, and gone the next."

"Did you guys do anything out of the ordinary?"

"Nope."

He sighed heavily, moving away. "I remember some things, like Araya, but I don't remember where we were. Maybe if I could remember... more than the Blade Sharks and after that."

"Maybe it was all a dream?" Rei suggested, looking at Driger carefully. "Maybe that's why you can't remember. She never really existed"

"No," Kai protested. "I know because my grandfather brought me to the Blade Sharks. And he had said: "I hope that you're proud of yourself, Kai", like he was angry or ashamed of me. It was my fault Araya left. I did something..."

Both were silent now. Rei didn't know what to say and Kai was too ashamed to speak another word.

"You'll find out someday."

Kai nodded, then coldly said, "I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed now."

"Yeah, it's getting late..." Rei stood up and left the room, then headed for the others.

(Kai POV)

_Pointless. That's the word that comes to mind when I think of telling the others. At least it wouldn't get around. At least Rei would keep his word. I couldn't believe that I dared to tell him. Even he doubted me, doubted my stability... my sanity. _

Heck, even I doubt that...

But, still... it's hard to have them look at me that way. I'm not totally emotionless; I'm not too strong that I can't cry... I think... When she was with me I was strong enough. Back then I was able to be with people, not push them away. Now I'm too weak - too scared - to let myself become attached.

I looked to one of the others bed a gasped. I could see an image of my past, an image of two young kids laughing and having a good time. Those kids were me and Araya. I could see that look in her eyes, that look of total adornment... complete love.

"Kai, do you want to beybattle?" _she asked, tightening her pig-tails. Her big blue eyes daring me to accept the challenge._ "It would be nice. We haven't beybattled all day!"

_I smiled, leaning over and pulling her into my arms. I whispered something to her, and she laughed. I don't remember what I said, not anymore. I sort of wish I did. I want to remember why she smiled. I want back that part of me which died when she left. _

"Oh, Kai..."

_The image faded away and once again I felt so alone. So alone, and lost in the darkness. _

(End Kai POV) 

-- -- -- -- 

(Two Days Later) 

"Hey, Kai! C'mon, would ya?" Takao called, rushing ahead. He was obviously excited about riding on a plane again. "It's the world championships!"

"Ye-hah!" Max cried in agreement. He ran up to Takao and happily tackled him. "We're the greatest!"

Rei laughed amusedly, his arms crossed. He turned to smile softly at Kai.

"We've come a long way, don't you think?" Kai shrugged, then silently walked towards the others. "Damnit, Kai. I don't think you'll ever change. No matter how hard we try you jut won't be a part of our group. You're a Bladebreaker whether you like it or not."

He chuckled then followed behind the others.

(Kai POV) 

Ever since I spoke to Rei... I just felt empty. A little scared and vulnerable, too, but mostly empty. His words had made me think. A deep haze of darkness surrounded my past... What if I had just thought up a past? Made a best friend up to cover the pain of being left alone...

It made so much sense that I was a little frightened. Could the past I've built myself on really all be a lie? 

"Kai!"

_I froze in place. That voice... so familiar. It was Her voice. I turned to face the one whom had called me. It was her. The hair, the eyes... that smile. _

My eyes were wide and I couldn't talk - hell, I could barely breathe.

"I thought it was you! Oh, Kai, you're my favorite beyblader!" she gushed, as if this were the first time we'd met. Did she not remember me? Was I the one mistaken? "I just wanted to wish you good luck before the world championships! I know you'll do great!"

_I blinked a few times. She didn't recognize me. She didn't know me... _

"Ugh... thanks," _I gave the coldest reply I could think of. I then turned and walked away. _

I know Rei stopped near the shocked girl. She wished him good luck as well. Perhaps... it really was all a dream. A dream of comfort and love created by a pained heart. A lonely heart. But how did I know what she'd look like? How did my mind so perfectly imagine her?

(End Kai POV) 

-- -- -- -- 

(Five Years Earlier) 

"Three... two... one..."

Araya watched Kai preparing with terrified eyes. She was scared. Black Dranzer was too powerful... too powerful for anyone to control. But she couldn't stand in Kai's way. He'd never let her. And she'd never leave him. She cared for him too much to break that promise; she cared too much to even consider stepping away from his side for too long.

"Let it rip!"

He launched the blade with a triumphant laugh. Black Dranzer was amazing. So full of power. So consuming. All he could think of was the power and how, with it, he could never be defeated.

"Come out, Black Dranzer! Let me see your power!" he commanded.

"No, Kai! Please! No!" Araya begged. He ignored her, and the bitbeast revealed itself. "No... Kai..."

He was laughing maniacally now, eyes full of, what she was sure was, insanity. It was as if he'd snapped, and now evil was taking hold of his mind. The Kai she'd come to know was slowly slipping away from her and all she could do for the time being was watch.

"What's it doing to you, Kai!" she cried with tearful eyes. "Snap out of it! Please! Black Dranzer's too much for you! Came back, Kai!"

He looked to her, his eyes colder than she had even seen them before. His expression was blank but his eyes were angry, hateful almost.

"Come now. Don't be jealous, Araya. I know they gave you a bitbeast. I want to fight you." He snickered cruelly. "Fight me, little girl. Show me if you even deserve my love."

"What? Kai, how could you say that?"

"Take me on. I want to battle."

"It's Black Dranzer, isn't it? That's not really my Kai saying those things," she whispered to herself. She glanced down into the beystadium and at the fiercely spinning blade. "It's too dangerous for anyone... It should be destroyed. Then Kai will be free and no one else will be hurt. I must accept this challenge... I have to."

"Touching. Now let's have a beybattle," he growled. His eyes were so menacing. So full of darkness. "Araya, let's not take all night."

She took a deep breath, gathering her courage, then stepped forward. She hooked her blade to the launcher and tentatively glanced at him once again. He was challenging her, questioning her skills. But if he could say such a cruel thing; if he could question whether or not she was worthy of his love... It was either the corruption of Black Dranzer or those were his true feelings.

"Damnit, Araya! Would you just launch already!"

Clasped tightly in shaking hands, the launcher was placed over the beystadium. She pulled the cord with a low growl.

"Mynx, show Black Dranzer why it's wrong to mess with peoples minds!" she ordered it.

She grit her teeth together, narrowing her eyes, focusing her thoughts solely on the power of her bitbeast. There was an eerie crimson glow as the ancient spirit emerged, prepared for battle. Both beyblades raced across the beystadium and clashed in the center.

"Mynx, we can't lose!" she declared. "Attack with your Crimson Claw!"

"Black Dranzer, attack!"

(Present) 

"I suppose that I should accept the fact that I'll never really know whether she's real or not," Kai said softly. Once again he had claimed the windowsill as his own.

Rei looked over to Kai and sighed heavily. Once again they were sharing a room and for the second time Kai had decided to trust Rei.

"I had someone I loved when I was younger," Rei told him, looking to his bed sadly. His eyes showed a heavy weight holding him in sorrow.

"Mariah?"

Rei shook his head, sighing heavily. "No. Her name was Sukiya. Her family sought sanctuary in my village. We grew up together for eight- maybe nine years. One day she just up and left."

"It's not the same."

"I liked her, Kai. I mean, I really liked her; loved her even." His voice was picking up pace and he was breathing as if panicked. "I caught her before she left. We never were too kind to her. She was an outsider. But, still... under the terms she wanted to beybattle, how could I refuse her?"

He blushed deeply.

"Terms?"

"If she won, I give her a kiss; if I won, I'd get whatever I wanted, with the exception of stopping her from leaving."

"Lucky you. She liked you back," Kai sighed sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He refused to face Rei.

"I haven't seen her since." He turned his back to Kai, who had his head pressed against the glass. "That's about as long as you haven't seen Araya, isn't it?"

"What's your point?"

"You're not alone in this, Kai. I, too, with that I could see my love again," he whispered, blinking back tears.

Kai sniffled, forced a sardonic smile then turned to face him.

"I suppose you won't give me any other choice."

-- -- -- -- 

(Five Years Earlier) 

"Mynx!"

"Black Dranzer!"

Araya gasped as the dark glow which emitted from his blade seemed to absorb her. Drag her into a deep nothingness somewhere inside his blade. A sharp pain burst into her gut and she felt herself weaken. Her eyes grew wide and she gasped for air, completely shaken by what had just happened.

"Araya?" Kai's voice suddenly sounded concerned and shaken. There was blood everywhere. It seemed to have snapped him out of his trance. "Oh my god! No!"

She couldn't see him. The pain was just too much. One of Black Dranzer's talons a dug itself in her, deep into her gut, and the claw as a while was slowly crushing her body. She cried out in pain feeling as though she were being ripped apart alive.

"Araya... I..." He could hear her begging him for help, but he didn't know what to do. This wasn't supposed to happen. What had he been thinking? "Araya! Black Dranzer! Stop it! Leave her alone!"

"Kai!"

"No!"

* * *

I always meant to have a sequel story to this one, but I never did get around to it. So I hope you enjoyed my little fanfiction. Maybe one day I'll get off my lazy butt and write that sequel.


End file.
